Habits of Highly Effective People | The Independent Ones
After reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, there are some main takeaways, from the first 3 habits (the independence-focused once), that I wanted to share for those who would rather a cliff notes version or people who would rather do something else than read, but would still like to be highly effective, or more so. Reading is my jam, so I happily share the main takeaways I learned about habits from Stephen Covey.
I read a lot of self development books. I like that it was a numbered set of things to become a more highly effective person.
The first is to be proactive. My mom used to despise that word. She would come home from the office and say that her boss wanted her to be more proactive, in almost a mocking way. So that word, to be proactive, has always had a negative connotation for me. It's kind of condescending, but again I guess it just seems that way since that was my first experience with the word: proactive.
Instead this book introduced the word in a positive light. Focus and act on what you control and influence, instead of what you can't. Focus on what's inside, on the emotions and thoughts that go through my head, and not worry about what others are thinking about me. I can be considerate still, but try not to be overly concerned with the world around me. I think this is why I avoid the news, in a way. There's just so much that I can't control all over the world, all over the United States, all Over Texas, all over the region that I live in. There is too much to think about. I end up chatting with my friends more, as they follow the news. It's fun to talk about, and to get caught up on, and hear it from their perspective.
I really liked the diagram mentioned in the book with the outer circle of concern and the inner circle of influence. I can really appreciate that the author mentioned that complaining about these things, that we can’t control, takes less effort than putting forth the energy and taking responsibility to do something about the things that we can control. Because it's true, it does take a lot of effort to do anything. It takes a lot of effort to change your attitude. It takes a lot of effort to have the ganas to go to the gym a couple times a week. It takes a lot of effort to learn a new skill, or prioritize the things that you want to do on a regular basis. I feel like learning a new skill is especially difficult because there is almost a never-ending list of ways that you could learn said skill. If you type “how to do X” in Google, you'll get millions of results back. There are countless books that have been written about said topic. How do you find the right one? I get stuck in this very loop sometimes.
The next habit is to begin with the end in mind. It's the stereotypical interview question that is asked about where you want to be in 5, 10, 15 years. I'd like to know who actually has the answer for this. I sure don't. It's way too broad of a question for me. Are we talking in my relationship? With friends? With my family? Financially? What do they really want to know? Instead the authors suggest trying an exercise. Even though it's a little morbid, what do you want the person who gives your eulogy to say at your funeral? Personally, I would like for them to say that I was always learning, that I was going for adventures, that nothing was ever enough. I know that this could sound a little bad. Why can't I just be content with my life? Why can't I just be satisfied with what I have, and who I am? It's difficult for me for various reasons, but I'm a unique human being that is always striving to be better, and knows that the world has so much to offer. As I said earlier it's very difficult to choose how I want to learn something, but given the opportunity, I would gladly learn through someone.
Another part of this habit was to create a mission statement. This is not meant to be an easy task, and is meant to have many revisions. Although I'm not completely satisfied with this draft, I wanted to share my current mission statement:
I see each day as an opportunity to learn and challenge myself, each of these opportunities is an adventure full of ups and downs as I understand that success and growth is not a straight line.
If this entire exercise has taught me anything, it's teaching me about myself. I'm starting to connect the dots. Just like I would rather hear about the news from a friend, I would rather learn about a thing from a friend. It seems plain and simple now, but these exercises are very inward-facing to get you to think about how you work, and how you think. This is probably because it is in your circle of influence, and all of these habits are connected.
The last independent habit mentioned in this book is to put first things first. Essentially what this means is to prioritize your goals accordingly. If you want to become an Olympic swimmer, maybe spend some time in the pool when you have to make a choice between swimming and anything else. This is a strange habit because I have so many interests and it's difficult to choose between them all. I saw this Tik-Tok the other day about a lady that learns something new every 2 months, and at the end of the year she comes out with 6 new skills. I really admired this about her, but how does she prioritize after learning 1 skill, to prioritize the one new skill over the older ones? I try to make time for everything, for all of my interest. When I do this, the other parts of my life get neglected. It's sad when I snap out of it enough to realize that's what's happening, and briefly I'm able to correct my behavior. But before too long I'm hyper-focused again on the latest and greatest goal that I've added to my list. It's definitely something that can be worked on, improved like I'm always trying to do.
“Every human has four endowments - self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.” - Stephen Covey
What’s the most helpful habit you have?
